By Justin Rocket Silverman
The plan was to be down on one knee. She and I were at the exact spot in the park where we'd met three years before. My brother was hiding in the bushes with a telephoto lens. I’d spent months searching for the right ring. A diamond, but not a bloody one. She wanted this engagement and wasn’t shy about saying so. I was less sure. Not because I didn’t love her or want to spend our lives together. But because of the overwhelming uncertainty. The divorce rate isn't actually 50 percent, it's more like 30, but that’s still a whole lot of visits to Splitsville. And there is no reason to think we wouldn’t one day book tickets there ourselves. Yet the part of me that doesn’t care about logic knew it was time, uncertainty be damned. Because really, in this life, there is nothing to do but try. I dropped down, lifted the ring, and asked my baby to become my bride. She said yes. The rest is a blur. Luckily my brother did his job. But in the photos I’m not down on one knee. I’m down on both knees. Grounded, in the face of uncertainty.
When you’re starting something new, how do you balance excitement and uncertainty?
Justin Rocket Silverman is a veteran newspaper and magazine writer in New York City.